The Coe Writing Center White Board (CWCWB) serves many practical purposes. It allows students and consultants alike to engage in a small, fun break from the reality of college stresses to answer a silly question that will have absolutely no impact on anything, ever. It serves to show newcomers that we are not posh, uptight, and serious English majors, but showcases a quirky little snippet of vibes we foster here at the writing center. The board, however, can sometimes reveal the true intentions that lie in the depths of the minds of our consultants. It also can reveal our competitive nature. Finally, it can showcase where we, at times, fall short. Here are a few examples that show some of these identities at play.
#1 - Battle of the Worst States
The question on the board on this cool February 27th day was, “What is your least favorite state?” This question revealed where some of our consultants lack in the brainstorming department (which happens to be quite a large part of our job). While explaining why South Dakota was their least favorite state, one student wrote, “does it really exist?” South Dakota is in fact a real state, actually, as of November 2nd, 1889. News of South Dakota hardly ever reaches Iowa, so I can see how one would come to that conclusion.
Additional information on South Dakota: https://www.census.gov/newsroom/stories/south-dakota-admissionanniversary.html#:~:text=South%20Dakota%20was%20admitted%20to,boundary%20as%20the%20present%20state.
Another student chose Nebraska, adding two small bullet points under their answer which reads, “IDK, Iowa culture says so…” which is quickly followed by the word, “corn”. This answer was particularly perplexing to me, because it is often the words “Iowa” and “Corn” are used interchangeably. Is this student an Iowan? Because Iowa culture also says that Iowa corn is the backbone of our nation, so corn couldn’t possibly be a reason why Nebraska is the least favorite state when having 49 other states with great reasons to choose from. But we forgive anyway. Finally, a student wrote Maryland, because they are not trusting of its shape. THAT, I can understand. It’s just wrong.
#2 - Forbidden Fruits (or other, inedible objects)
I found myself in the writing center on April 27th, eyes wide with my fist over my mouth, simply staring at some of the answers on the board for a forbidden “nom-nom” or snack question that revealed a bit too much about our consultants. One student answered, “Tide Pods”, which unfortunately does not come as a surprise. In 2018, teenagers across the United States representing any gender, religion, race, and creed, came together to partake in what became commonly known as the “Tide Pod Challenge”. To complete this task, one was to ingest a Tide Pod and consume it whole.
More on the "Tide Pod Challenge": https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/tide-pod-challenge/
When taking this…stunning piece of history into account, the answer on the CWCWB began to make more sense. For example, “sponge” would fit right in with the theme of cleanliness. “Shaving cream” could also be categorized with the previous responses. We do have some nature enthusiasts, popular answers of plants, flowers, sand, and clay decorated the board. Small chewy toys found a place, polly pocket clothes and lego tires brought back good memories. I even thought back to the days I used to chew on the little pieces of sticky plastic that came in the mail behind the new credit cards and gift cards my parents would receive.
“Lava” did worry me a bit. The “yummy” under it implies this student has tasted and seen that lava is good, but lava does seem to on average hold a temperature of 2,200 degrees Fahrenheit. Now, I am no expert in human anatomy, but I do not believe the average tongue can hold such a heated temperature. I could be wrong though. What really did it for me was “The Mechanic’s Fingers”. I was hoping it was a movie title, or the poorly translated brand name of some foreign chocolate. Unfortunately, I came up short every time in my extensive research of these three words. All I got was many pictures of dirty, stubby, well, a mechanic’s fingers. Needless to say, I did not set up a conference at the writing center anytime soon after seeing we had a cannibal running loose in the writing center.
#3 - Spelling Bee Champions
This was one of my favorites. One thing you would not expect from a writing center staff would be to find themselves lacking in the spelling department. However, we have discovered that we’re not like other writing centers, proving ourselves time and time again set apart from the rest of those in our industry. As someone who was experiencing this CWCWB question, “irl” as the kids like to say, I found myself feeling proud of the little group of rag-tag consultants in the room that night, all enthusiastically answering the question, “What word can you never spell? (your version)”.
I would have found it funny the entire night if it wasn’t for the visit we were receiving that day from consultants from the Cornell College Writing Center (their CWC, not to be confused with our CWC). When they walked in on one of our consultants writing “restarant” on the board (meaning to write restaurant), my blood froze. Would they think we were stupid? Would other words like “philsophy”, “chochlate”, and “prefrance” give away the true extent of our capabilities? As it turns out, no! They went right up to the board and began adding their own commonly misspelled words. So, world, although we may fall short in the spelling department, it seems like everyone else does too! Our generation has now proven to be completely unreliable without the internet, and you know what? That is a-okay. Let’s hope that the Zombie apocalypse our government has a plan for never happens, so that we may always have wireless internet access.
#4 - What would YOU do? (the not family friendly version and definitely without John Quinones)
Now, the CWCWB is all fun and games until you reach the point of no return - a consultant’s real inner thoughts and feelings. Not the question, but its answers, made me wonder about my own personal safety in the world. You see, writing center consultants at Coe College tend to be all around great people. They smile at you when you walk in, they laugh loudly at jokes that sometimes are not that funny, and they offer you a Jolly Rancher and coffee for your troubles. With sweetness personified as staff members in the writing center, what could ever go wrong? Well, the board is about to give us a list.
See, disturbing the peace I can understand. A little protesting here and there is bound to rile up a couple people. Vandalism….ah, okay okay I guess you could maybe argue what really counts as vandalism. Some of these though….they get kind of scary. One student answered, “Theft!”. Not even just your regular, good old “Theft” but “Theft!” with an exclamation mark!! This student was ready and enthusiastic, just waiting for the chance to reveal their true intentions. Next, AGGRAVATED ASSAULT?! WHAT?! You’re telling me I could get drop-kicked in the throat when I walk into the writing center?! And okay, okay, ARSON?! And WHY IN THE WORLD IS THERE A TIMES FOUR NEXT TO IT INDICATING THAT AT LEAST THREE MORE PEOPLE AGREED WITH THIS?! And don’t even get me started with vehicular manslaughter.
In conclusion, there are many different types of students that frequent the writing center, with many strengths and many, many, (many) weaknesses. This, however, is how we build our little family here at the writing center. A little misspelled word here, a little arson there, a little competition and many tasty snacks. Next time you are in the writing center, take some time to consider the board, and what that tells you about the lovely human beings running it.
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