Monday, March 6, 2023

The Squirrel Games

 The Squirrel Games:

Which type of squirrel in Iowa is the best?

Squirrels: at Coe, we see them, we love them. But what kinds are there? How many are there? And which one is the best, cutest, meanest? These are the questions I pondered as I started to think about what I might want to put on the Coe Writing Center blog.

I began looking at the kinds of squirrels in America, and I quickly realized there are far too many to rank. Then, I looked up how many kinds there are in Iowa, and I found four on this website. I chose to use this for my basis as it focused on Iowa and was pretty well-written. It gives tons of other details, so check it out if you want to learn more! So now that I'm down to four - which is a much more manageable number - I'm going to take a look at those four and put them in order from best to worst.


 

#1: Fox Squirrels

    Up first we've got Fox Squirrels. Look at this dude doing his hero pose!! The fox squirrels are best because they are the guys we mostly see here on campus. They have a pretty, orange tummy and brownish gray backs with big, puffy tails. They thrive around people, which would explain why Coe has such an active, friendly squirrel population. They're great climbers and foragers who live in many different climates. You can find them anywhere in Iowa, but I think the best ones live right here on campus.

#2: American Red Squirrels

Source

    These boys are just adorable. They have a tail tucked up against their red back, with white detailing on their tummy and face. They are much smaller than other kinds of squirrel, which makes it easy to distinguish them. They are not shy guys and will absolutely steal your birdfeed. This all sounds great, but they are unfortunately known for being aggressive and have been seen causing property damage (call the squirrel cops!). So while they may be adorable little demons, the fox squirrels are friendly and more suitable for first place.


#3: Southern Flying Squirrels

    OK, so some of these guys are really ugly. With black, bulged eyes, brown backs, and white tummies, they really could be cuter. I will happily acknowledge that. But they fly. If you haven't seen one, the reason is because they do their thing at night, gliding from tree to tree, with the occasional bird feeder as their destination. They are super social and spend winters huddled together in groups of ~20, which is the cutest thing I have heard in a while. The reason they're #3 is because... look at him. He's not that cute. I'd rather have a cute and aggressive squirrel than look at these boys. Thank goodness they are nocturnal. 

#4: Eastern Gray Squirrels

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    In last place we have Eastern Gray Squirrels. They may be pretty dang cute, but these are the ones you'd be fighting on your birdfeeder. They may have fluffy gray tails and puffy bodies, but that isn't worth it when you can have one that flies, or is a red demon, or is a friendly neighborhood squirrel. And besides, the gray really isn't that nice to look at. The only cute thing about this dude is his little foot mits. Essentially, they don't have anything going for them. Also, while they are native to Iowa, they are an invasive type of species in Europe. Sorry not sorry!



Concluding Thoughts

What order would you put the four squirrel species in Iowa in? It's probably not a question you've ever pondered or ever will again. Would you go based off of personality or looks? Would you debate changing your order partway through (hint: I did)? 

I hope you have enjoyed looking through this and perhaps even learning a little bit more about the squirrels of Iowa, even if you disagree with my ranking. 

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