Making Conferences Comfortable!

Whether you’re a first year consultant or an experienced one, we have all experienced those pesky pre-conference nerves. You know exactly what I’m talking about. That rush of adrenaline when you realize someone has scheduled a conference with you. Then the subsequent fear that you will completely forget how to speak when the time comes. 

This is normal, I tell myself after the fifth time of convincing myself I actually do

know how to write. And it absolutely is. That stress just means you genuinely care

about your client’s experience in the Writing Center, which is definitely a good

thing! But there is a way to combat those feelings of uncertainty, and it involves a

list of carefully organized steps. I call them…..

R O B M A G S 

Sorry, I tried to make it sound cooler but I couldn’t figure out how. On the bright

side, it does sound kind of literary! Rob mags? Almost like it's short for “robbing

magazines”? No? We can move on. 

Remember who you are

I know that sometimes it might seem odd to have the authority of a Writing Center consultant. 

You feel like you are supposed to be an expert in your field, and this can often be isolating for

consultants. But it’s important to remember that you are a peer! Though you have a title,

you are meant to connect and relate to your client. You are a student too, and you don’t

have to know or be a master at everything. With that in mind, smile and be confident! This

client trusts you and could potentially be a future friend. Who doesn’t like making new

friends? 

Open Body Language

When I’m nervous, I notice that I tend to shrink a little. Most of the time this is totally

involuntary (though sometimes I do it on purpose when I’m attempting to be invisible),

but it closes your body off to any interaction. Suddenly you look a bit more intimidating,

even though you might be the one feeling intimidated. To break out of that anxious

mindset, try open body language that says "I'm listening". Essentially, let the client

know you're listening (nodding, leaning forward). This could be as simple as 

maintaining eye contact or trying not to cross your arms. You’ll feel your body relax

naturally, and your client will feel more comfortable too. 

Be an active listener

It’s easy to feel distracted when you’re experiencing worry. You feel tense and the only

thing you can think about is when it’ll all be over. While it can be helpful to visualize

the end of a stressful situation, this can backfire in a Writing Center conference. If you’re

only thinking about getting through the consultation without embarrassing yourself or as

quickly as possible, you may not be hearing what your client is telling you. The best way

to fight this? Treat your client like they’re the most important person in the room. 

You probably already feel like they are, but if you remind yourself of this you’ll be more

likely to hear everything. And when you’re actively listening, you’ll remember that you’re

helping someone perform to the best of their ability. Knowing that you’re being useful can

definitely alleviate some of the stress!

 

Make a joke

Now I know what you’re thinking. Why would you make random jokes during a Writing

Center conference? Well let me explain myself. Everyone (and I mean everyone) likes a

good joke. They break the ice and can tell you a lot about a person. A dad joke? That

person is probably fun to be around and doesn’t take themselves too seriously. A dark joke?

That person is mysterious and potentially in need of a hug. A knock knock joke? That person

might require an actual sense of humor, but I’m sure they’re good at heart! Either way, 

jokes make people feel relaxed and can instantly lighten the mood. You don't have to tell

random ones, they can also be related to your day. Nobody expects you to be a perfect

comedian, they just want to know that you are comfortable showing your sense of

humor. If they don’t laugh, it’s okay. Just try again! The worst thing they can really do

is reply with a knock knock joke.

Ask About Them

We all have bad days. You were late to a class, you have a ton of work, you found out your

friend secretly hates milk chocolate, etc. It can be particularly stressful during this time of

the year, when everything is winding down and the workload is increasing. But when a client

seems to be having a bad day, make sure you check in on them before you start the conference. 

You could also sing a sad song just to turn it around (I’m sorry). But the point I’m trying to

make is that the same principle can be applied to a Writing Center conference. If you and 

your client feel stressed, try turning that nervous energy into positive energy. Ask your

client about their day! Are they tired? Were their classes hard? What was the most interesting

part of their day? When do they think flunk day will be? Asking someone else about 

themselves can make them feel heard. You’ll learn something about your client and make

them feel at ease. Basically, it’s a win-win. 

Get them involved

I’m sure that we’re all aware of how important it is to engage your client in a Writing Center

conference. Nobody wants to feel talked over or dismissed, so it’s imperative that you

make sure your client is speaking up and feels comfortable enough to do so. Have them 

read certain sections of their work, or ask them what they feel the least confident about.

Sometimes it’s also helpful to validate their concerns. If they’re telling you that they feel their

introduction is a bit disjointed, make it clear that you understand their issues. In general, let

them know that this is about them and their work. They can tell you whatever is worrying 

them about their writing, and you will be there to help. These can be good ways to encourage

them to lead the conference in the direction they want to go, and to create a more comfortable 

environment for both of you.

Slow and steady

One of the easiest ways to tell that you’re nervous is if you suddenly begin talking faster than

the speed of light. Your brain and your mouth are not entirely synced, and you find yourself

overcompensating just a little bit. Don’t worry, it happens! I once asked someone how their

day was twice because my brain was just telling me to keep speaking. But in order to stop

this from happening in a conference, remind yourself to slow down. Your client will not

judge you or even notice that you’re functioning a little slower than is usual for you.

The more measured you are, however, the less stressed and anxious you will feel about the

conference as a whole. You’ll have the time to focus and process what’s being said, as well

as appear more confident than you might feel. Remember, slow and steady wins the race. 

And there you have it, my almost foolproof way to relax and have a comfortable conference. 

Also, I’m taking suggestions for good knock knock jokes….