Thursday, February 25, 2021

A Review of all the Writing Center Lamps

 How can they even see? 


    The complex actions of writing center consultants often contradict the general population's opinions when it comes to the topic of lighting. If the writing center consultants were given an entire room with top of the line overhead lighting, why does a piece of black tape reside over the light switch with a handwritten note that states "Please leave tape on. Use lamps"? Now, during the day this is not too much of a problem since four large windows offer ample light to the literature-hungry consultants, but some prefer to work late nights, in which they still refuse to turn on the overhead lights. This custom has boggled the minds of many researches alike, but I will attempt to dive head deep into their culture and finally figure out the reason behind this strange phenomenon. 

    To start my research, I observed each lamp in their natural habitat. I took their design, size, purpose, and ability to light up a room during the night into account when reviewing each.



This first lamp resides on their front desk, a welcoming piece with an antique-esque design that offers a soft yellow glow. While this is the smallest of all their lamps, it is a rational size for the desk it has been placed on and doesn't take up an unnecessary amount of room. It provides little light, but since it is the closest to the front door (where the library light is pouring through) it receives a pass for its low light emissions. However, since it is only for decorative use and has a rather dull base coloring, I've assigned it a 💡💡💡 💡💡💡💡💡 rating. 








The next lamp is tall and skinny, fitting neatly in a corner that would otherwise be awkwardly empty without it. The base is horrifically lacking any interesting detail, but the curling metal at the top attempts to make up for its boring bottom counterpart. The black metal is a good design choice for its slender theme, and although its pole is slightly curved, its sheer height and ability to emit large amounts of bright light during the night gives it a 💡💡💡💡 💡💡💡💡💡 rating. 








This lamp is located in an out of place an unnecessary part of the room, residing right in the middle of a wall near two windows. Its pole that has a thicker circumference the further up it goes, and its shape reminds me of an awkward teen that skipped leg day. It does not provide ample light when dark and its only redeeming quality is that it has paper-mache butterflies taped onto its hood, which is a human addition and not part of the lamp itself. 💡 / 💡💡💡💡💡 rating.







This little beauty has an incredible design, having leaf designs etched onto its hood and a satisfyingly geometric base and pole. It's rather small, but it serves its purpose of being a simple table lamp and gives off a soft reading light, not being too harsh or bright. Its only downfall is its crooked hood that unfortunately takes off one bulb in its rating. 💡💡💡💡 / 💡💡💡💡💡









I wish I could take the astounding Abraham Lincoln cut out into account when rating this lamp, but unfortunately it is only a background piece. The lamp itself does a good job at providing large amount of light and has a straight and sturdy pole and base. The only downfall of this lamp is that it's simply average; therefore, lackluster.          💡💡💡💡 / 💡💡💡💡.








Behold this absolute gem of a lamp. The squiggly poles provide a new and refreshing take to the industry of lamp design. Its hood is slightly tilted, but with the contemporary bottom half, it looks natural following the bendy theme of the lamp itself. It provides the perfect amount of light, enough to aid in sight, but not so harsh it hurts the eyes.         💡💡💡💡💡 / 💡💡💡💡💡 rating.









The last lamp is terribly ordinary, with an extremely skinny base that resembles a giant stick bug. There isn't an ounce of design thought or creativity put into this lamp, and its sheer height is a bit unbecoming. The only redeeming factor is its ability to provide helpful amounts of light. 💡💡 / 💡💡💡💡💡





    After long hours of research I have concluded that these lamp-crazy writing consultants find comfort in having their sources of light come from the horizontal plane instead of the vertical. The over head lights put them in a state of uneasiness, and cause them to go into panic, giving them hallucinations of helicopters attacking from above. Don't ask me how I discovered this. The events are not something I wish to recall. Perhaps there is some unnamed gene to cause this reaction or perhaps they all share one collective mind and; therefore, all fear preemptive helicopter attacks. That or they just think lamps are pretty. Thankfully, after reviewing each lamp, I have discovered that not turning on overhead lights does not impair their sense of sight at all, and they are all still able to do their jobs and give wonderous writing advice.

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