Wednesday, February 26, 2020

It's Cold Outside. And You Know What Will Keep You Warm? Hats.



Picture it: The raw temperature outside is below zero, the temperature with windchill is, needless to say, even colder. It’s a Thursday morning which of course means Topics at 8:30 AM. You roll out of bed at 8:20. You hurry over to the Struve Communication Center and head to Room 4, ready to learn how to be an effective Writing Center consultant. But when you enter the classroom, something seems amiss. You look around at your fellow consultants and that’s when it hits you: the majority of the exceptional human beings you call colleagues have not worn a hat to class on this bitterly cold morning.
Hopefully you are right now feeling the same indignation that I felt when I first realized most of my classmates don’t wear hats around campus, even when the temperature has dipped far below freezing. And it led me to wonder just why this was the case. (It also led me to loudly and extensively chastise my hatless classmates. I am sorry. I cannot promise it won’t happen again.) So let’s take a look at what the people have to say about the topic of hats, and then let’s take a look at what I have to say about the topic of hats.


The Hatless

            It wasn’t hard to know who to turn to to get some opinions about the benefits of going hatless. Many of the consultants in Thursday morning Topics continue to leave their heads exposed to the elements despite my not-so-gentle prodding otherwise. Their reasons were as varied as the hats they could be wearing.

            Fashion
            Some were worried about the effect hats may have on their appearance. Elliot was honest. “My face just doesn’t look good with hats,” he said. Maggie seemed to second the appearance-concerned sentiment: “If my hair is wet, I’m not putting a hat on.”

            Comfort
            Comfort was a priority for Bryonna, who put in her two cents, saying that “[hats] don’t fit on my head.” Interestingly enough, Bryonna also had an argument in favor of warm winter headgear, which we’ll look at further on.

            Hoods
            Jordan provided a simple explanation for his lack of hat and lack of coat all in one statement: “I wear a hood, and a sweatshirt keeps me warm enough.” Paige echoed this argument, saying, “I also have a hood that’s insulated.” Are hoods an adequate replacement for hats? These two consultants sure seem to think so. I am still skeptical.

            Fear?
            A lone voice piped up from the side of the room, raising a unique concern. “Hats scare me,” Evan said.

            These argument, while valid, are not airtight. Let’s take a look at what Team Hat had to say about all this.


Team Hat

            It’s important to note that not all the consultants in Thursday morning Topics refused to cover their ears in the morning. While few and far between, there were some consultants that sported hats to class and/or aligned themselves with Team Hat.
     
            Fashion
            Taylor arrived to class, a lovely hat sitting atop her head. I was, of course, thrilled, and had to get her statement. She provided an exceptional explanation as to the benefit of her hat:

“I came in wearing a hat because it’s cold outside, and I would like to keep my ears warm. I also shower in the morning, and my hair freezes, and the hat helps prevent that. It’s a little inconvenient because it pushes my wet hair down against my scalp, but in the long run, it’s worth it. Also, it’s a Harry Potter hat, so I want to flash it around.”
This statement speaks for itself, of course, but let’s highlight one of the most important argument made. Taylor chooses warmth over a perfect hairstyle. We all want to look great in the winter, but is it worth freezing for? Taylor seems to think not, and I have to agree. We lose body heat quickly when our skin is exposed to the chilly winter air. Keep that melon wrapped up!
            Myah, who was not wearing a hat, did have something positive to contribute to the hat conversation. “I wore a hat yesterday,” she said, “because it looked good with my outfit.” Hopefully this comment makes it very clear that hats can be and so often are part of a cute and well put-together outfit. Do yourself a fashion favor and add a warm winter hat to your look.

            Comfort
            Bryonna, who originally argued in favor of the hatless, came in later with a great argument for Team Hat – sort of. “I wear earmuffs,” Bryonna said. She added that she is “allergic to the cold.” This of course nullifies her original argument. If hats don’t fit your head, try a pair of earmuffs or a cute knitted headband! While not quite as warm as a good ol’ hat, they’ll do in a pinch!

            Hoods
            The argument that a hood is a respectable replacement for a hat was particularly troubling to me. None of my classmates seemed to have a comment on this line of reasoning. Fortunately, I do! “How many times have you been walking with your hood up and the wind has knocked it down?” I question. “Hats are snug. They won’t blow off your head, leaving you cold and alone right when you need them the most.” So true! Hats will not forsake you

            Fear?
            So what about the argument that hats are scary? Well, I think it’s best to let some of the most recognizable icons of Team Hat speak for themselves.









            If these hat-wearing cuties don't help you get over your fear of hats, I don't know what will.
     

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